I LOVE being a mom. Love it, adore it, and am so so so so grateful for what a blessing it is. I wouldn't trade those angels of mine for anything. Being a mom is seriously the best job in the entire world but it is also easily the hardest thing I have ever done.

There are times when... you just need to get away.
I am also grateful for the opportunity my husband and I had to go out, just the two of us.  It was much needed and I greatly appreciate my mom and her willingness to take on two crazies while Jeff and I spent some good quality time together.
It was AMAZING.  We sat down to eat dinner together and... there was no arguing about veggies, no food hurled in my direction, no screaming, no whining, no crying, no food on the walls OR floor, no spilled beverage of any kind and... It's nice to have a meal like that every once in a while.
Sometimes it's nice to be able to sit down and eat.

Sometimes I'm tired and I think it'd be nice if I didn't have to fight the bedtime battle, just every now and then.  Kids putting themselves to bed? HA! Not likely, though it has happened once (we were on our way home from Southern Utah and didn't get in until 10:30 pm.  Both girls just crawled into bed without any fuss).
 I have created quite the bedtime routine for my kids.  Usually I LOVE it, we  get jammies on, have snack/milk time, read books together, then we have scripture stories, family prayer, brush teeth, go potty, song time, personal prayers, snuggles, talking about our day, and finally kisses goodnight.  Sometimes I get grief about my crazy routine but guess what?  I usually love it, sometimes I'm tired and don't feel up to it and I'll leave a few things out but when I mostly stick to the routine my kids are pretty stinkin good at staying in bed once I put them there.  For that I am endlessly thankful.  That 2 hours in between their bedtime and mine is SO needed. Whether it is to finally sit down and tackle a project I've been meaning to do, or simply to relax.

I think as humans, all imperfect, and all likely to make mistakes, we need to give each other a break.  There have been times when my child will act out in public and I get judgemental glares, as if the fact that my child isn't an angel 100% of the time must reflect on how successful I am as a parent. My toddler is having a temper tantrum so I must be a bad parent. 
No, the fact that my child is having is temper tantrum is a good indicator that I will not give in, especially in response to a fit.  I will not buy my child a toy simply because she cries if I don't.  I will not buy that snack I'd rather not have in my home simply to appease a screaming child. What would that reinforce?  If I cry and scream, I get what I want. Nope not my kids.  I distract them the best I can, sometime successfully sometimes not but I do the best I can. Sometimes I wish I could just somehow let those who are glaring at me and my crying child know... we;re trying.
Working SO hard to try and get it right.  I'm not even close perfect, but dang I try to be.

Someone after being with Kylee for a few hours felt it necessary to tell me "She is quite the little brat."  Sure, she can be a little mischievous but as my grandma would always say "she's only acting her age" she's two.  Two-year-olds aren't always angels, I'm sorry.  This girl had no idea, but I sat in my car and just bawled.  Because someone called my sweet Kylee a brat and I don't care what the situation I will not tolerate my child to be mistreated (she was so eager for me to hold her, and I worry she had been mistreated the entire time I was away), because I feel my children are a direct reflection of myself, and because dangit! I am doing the absolute best I can to teach her.
I beat my brains out to try and raise these kids right.  
It seriously broke my heart (and perhaps was magnified by pregnancy hormones).  As I sat in the car crying over this, trying to get composure enough to drive, my little "brat" said, "Oh, mommy come here. Don't cry"  I got out of the drivers' seat and gave her a hug, I did not want her to think she did anything wrong.  When I gave her a hug she gently stroked my face and said, "don't worry, don't worry, it ok." :)
Of course my 4-year-old was upset too, truly I don't fall apart often but whenever I do my kids start crying too. I explained again that it was nothing either of them had done, that I was just sad and had a bad day.  Katie begged, "ok but pleeeeeease don't cry ever again."

I know not everyone judges; part of the problem is being a mom is hard and sometimes I feel completely inadequate. My patience slips when it shouldn't and I judge myself pretty harshly.  If I feel that judgement coming from any other direction besides myself, I come down that much harder on myself.
 I can't help but think "_____ can handle her 5 kids alone at the store, why do I struggle so much with my two?"

If you have any tips to surviving grocery shopping PLEASE let me in on the secret.  Kylee has taken up the habit of tossing things out of the cart and throwing the most insane temper tantrums.  Something about the store, she finds something she wants, I say no for one reason or another and all heck breaks loose.
 Katie, though I can't definitively say it was her, is very good at sneaking random things into my cart.  I'll come home with stickers I do not remember seeing, random cans of food (what the heck can I do with corned beef hash?), and other items of food I've never considered buying.

As crazy and mind bogglingly hard as this mommy gig is... I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not Anything!
Yes, sometimes I need to get away and be kids free for a few hours. Just long enough to miss them usually does the trick.  It is crazy to me how liberating a simple trip to the grocery store alone can feel.  Sometimes that's all I need.

Let me again say, I love being a mom. It can be mentally and emotionally draining and just really hard and yes... I need a break on occasion but I love it.

I love sneaking into their rooms at night when they are sleeping and tucking them in one last time and stealing one last kiss before I head off to bed.

I love chasing away bad dreams and snuggling up with sweet children in the middle of the night.

I love that they run to me when they are hurt or afraid. I love that I get to be the one to make it better.

I love playing "house" with my girls. They like to pretend I am the baby and they are the mom or babysitter (they take turns). It's so fun to watch their sweet maternal instincts as they make sure "baby" is happy. I usually end up with every blanket and stuffed animal in the house. 

I love their giggles, squeals of delight, and gasps as I read to them. I love that they beg for more books.

I love how they love each other and are pretty inseparable where ever they go (usually).

I love how they look out for each other. When one is in timeout the other will sneak into the corner and try to cheer up her sister. (I put a stop to that for more serious infractions but... sometimes it's too sweet to stop).

I love how when I am at my wits end with the house, laundry, dishes, fighting children, financial stresses and all other things that tend to build up, my girls are very aware when their mom is about to lose it. I love how my two year old strokes my face and tells me "don't worry mom, don't worry" (if you could just hear that sweet voice of hers you would melt) and how my four-year-old will wrap me up in a warm hug and tell me I'm the bestest mommy ever when I need to hear it most.

I love those sweet voices. I laugh every time I hear my two-year-old belting out songs as loudly and happily as she can.

I love watching them dance.

I love when they say "mom (or dad) watch this!" and simply jump, run, somersault, or twirl around. I love how they are just so proud that their bodies can do these incredible things; they just have to share it.

I love all the crazy questions my 4-year-old will come up with. I've learned A LOT of random facts as I have had to do some research to answer her questions.
I love how everything is fresh, exciting and new to them.
I love hearing them pretend play.  I love listening and watching those little imaginations at work.
I love how their faces light up when we praise them for even the simplest of things.
 

I love my children and will always love my children no matter how insane things get.  I adore them and feel honored for the opportunity I have to raise these sweet spirits.

 Sister love :)

 Katie is pretty good at entertaining herself anywhere.  Here she is keeping herself happy as we wait for her uncle and new wife to come out of the temple

 As I said, my two girls are often inseperable 

 Silly Kate

 Love her face!  Everything is exciting and new

 My little water worm at her birthday party

 Birthday party time!!!!!

 Not a particularly fancy cake but...

I'd say it was still a hit with the girls :) If it has frosting and sprinkles, they are happy little girls